THE YORUBA TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE – Part 1

THE YORUBA TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE

YORUBA TRADITIONAL WEDDING PART 1:

Introduction

One of the beautiful expressions of the Yoruba culture is seen in the Yoruba Traditional wedding ceremony.

The Yoruba people of Nigeria have a rich and vibrant cultural heritage deeply rooted in their traditions and customs.

One of the most important occasions in Yoruba culture is the traditional wedding ceremony, a colourful and joyous event steeped in tradition and meaning.

Little wonder, no matter how “civilized” the society has become, embracing Church weddings, Mosque weddings, and the Customary/Court wedding, the traditional marriage is one part of the culture that the Yorubas still practice to date.

Many non-Yorubas mostly love to go to the traditional Yoruba wedding ceremony because of its beauty.

This post will give you an insight into how the Yoruba traditional wedding ceremony is done.

So, what is the first step in the Yoruba marriage?

It is a vast program that is done in different ways depending on the part of Yoruba land it is done.

But there is a general way it is done, and we will look into that today.

Share this post with your friends and partner who may want to understand how the Yoruba traditional wedding ceremony is done and what it entails.

Before any part of the Yoruba traditional wedding ceremony is done, the bride-to-be would have told her parents about the man and his family’s proposed visit.

Her parents will then fix a day and communicate it to them.

The Yoruba traditional wedding involves two stages: the introduction and the engagement (igbeyawo).

The Yoruba Introduction ceremony

In this post, we will discuss the introduction ceremony.

An introduction ceremony is an event that forms the first part of the traditional marriage.

As it is done with every occasion and event in Nigeria, the day begins with the bride’s family getting ready to receive their guests.

Cooking good food and preparation of drinks is how the day begins.

As the name implies, the introduction ceremony is a ceremony done to formally introduce both families – the bride’s and the groom’s, so it is a small gathering called the “itoro” ceremony.

Essentially, few members of the groom’s family (parents inclusive) come to the bride’s parent’s house to introduce themselves and to make their intentions known.

During the itoro ceremony, the groom’s family presents gifts to the bride’s family, including kola nuts, food ingredients, and other traditional items as requested (each family with a unique list).

They come to make it clear that they are asking for their daughter’s hand in marriage for their son.

This is usually done through the help of two intermediaries (usually women), one representing the groom’s family and the other representing the bride’s family.

The intermediary for the groom’s family is called “Alaga or Olopa Iduro”, meaning “Standing chairperson or policeman”. At the same time, that of the bride’s family is called “Alaga or olopa ijoko” (sitting policeman).

The anchors then proceed to ask the bride-to-be a few questions. In another post, we will be sharing the compulsory questions to be asked by the moderators at the Yoruba traditional family introduction ceremony.

These intermediaries are either family members or professionals whose services are being paid for.

The bride’s family are usually more at ease since they are the ones being approached for a “favour”, so their intermediary or spokesperson is bolder.

These intermediaries are the main anchor of the introduction ceremony.

Who pays for a Yoruba wedding: the introduction?

The ceremony is done in the bride’s parent’s house. Thus, they are the host responsible for all preparations, feeding and costs.

The man can choose to offer to pay for entertainment and feeding for the introduction ceremony.

He is not mandated to, and the bride’s parents may not accept it, but he would have succeeded in showing himself as a responsible prospective husband.

It is an exciting and rich event full of dramatic gestures portraying how the Yorubas see marriage – a union where the bride should be cherished and cared for.

The bride-to-be is dressed in the Yoruba traditional iro and buba attire with a headgear known as “gele”.

She is not expected to appear in uniform attire with the man just yet because this is just the introductory phase.

The groom’s family are to arrive on time and be at the bride’s house.

Traditionally, when they arrive, they are expected to wait outside under the sun or rain until they are invited in by the bride’s family.

When they get invited in, the olopa Iduro meets the family of the groom at the door, where they all kneel before going in to meet the bride’s family.

The groom is instructed to greet his in-laws-to-be and make his intentions known.

Greeting by the groom in Yoruba Culture means men lying flat on the ground and women kneeling.

Not long after this, the bride-to-be is ushered in and dances in with her friends.

After the formal introduction, the bride and groom typically exchange engagement rings, and the bride is given a “hand fan” to symbolise her commitment to the marriage.

The hand fan, known as “Bembe,” is a traditional Yoruba symbol of good luck and fertility.

The spice and fun of the event largely depend on the knowledge and experience of the anchors involved.

The elders of both families then meet to determine the bride price.

After reaching a compromise, the man’s family is given the bill, and the list and a date for the main traditional wedding (igbeyawo) are set.

To round off the event, someone from the groom’s family is asked to say the prayers to signal the end of the ceremony.

Food and drinks are made available in abundance, and everyone is appropriately entertained.

How long is a Yoruba wedding?

This will be answered in the second part of this write-up here. See you there.

Frequently Asked Questions:

1. What is the Yoruba traditional wedding ceremony?
Answer: The Yoruba traditional wedding ceremony is an important occasion in Yoruba culture, characterized by colourful and joyous events that celebrate the union of a bride and groom. It involves two stages: the introduction and the engagement (igbeyawo), both steeped in tradition and cultural significance.

2. What happens during the Yoruba marriage introduction ceremony?
Answer: The Yoruba marriage introduction ceremony, also known as the “itoro” ceremony, is the first part of the traditional marriage. During this event, representatives from the groom’s family, including parents, visit the bride’s family to formally introduce themselves and ask for the bride’s hand in marriage. Gifts, including kola nuts and traditional items, are presented to the bride’s family.

3. Who pays for the Yoruba wedding introduction ceremony?
Answer: The Yoruba wedding introduction ceremony is typically hosted at the bride’s parent’s house, and therefore, they are responsible for all preparations and costs. While the groom can choose to offer to pay for entertainment and feeding during the ceremony, it is not mandatory.

4. What is the significance of the “Bembe” hand fan in a Yoruba wedding?
Answer: The “Bembe” hand fan holds significant symbolism in a Yoruba wedding. It is given to the bride during the introduction ceremony to symbolize her commitment to the marriage. The hand fan is considered a traditional Yoruba symbol of good luck and fertility.

5. What are the roles of the intermediaries (“Alaga or Olopa Iduro” and “Alaga or olopa ijoko”) during the Yoruba wedding introduction?
Answer: The intermediaries play a vital role in facilitating the Yoruba wedding introduction ceremony. The “Alaga or Olopa Iduro” represents the groom’s family, while the “Alaga or olopa ijoko” represents the bride’s family. They act as anchors during the event, asking the bride-to-be a few questions and ensuring a smooth and respectful exchange between the families as the groom’s family seeks the bride’s hand in marriage.